Peonies

In recent years I've developed such a fascination with flowers and plants. The variety of sizes, shapes and colours of each and every kind of plant or flower is so intriguing to me, and I find so much joy in photographing them. I never used to be a fan of flowers, but I started to fall in love with them during my last year of high school. I took Studio Arts at school and chose to focus on the synergy between humans and flowers for my final artworks. I did a lot of research on flowers during that year, first becoming intrigued by them because of their beauty, and then delving deeper into the symbolism behind different kinds of flowers. I think that they can actually teach us a lot about ourselves, I remember reading a quote once that went something along the lines of, 'A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms'. I love this quote, I feel like it is so so true and relevant. Every flower is so different but so beautiful in its own way, and that's exactly like us as humans. (excuse the cliche, but its so spot on!).

I've personally been on a journey with confidence and self acceptance, which I think most of us have been by now! Comparing myself to others, wishing I was like them, feeling like I wasn't good enough because I didn't look the way someone else did, or have the same things as them. But then I realised, it was the people I was surrounding myself with who made me feel that way. These days I try my best to surround myself with the most beautiful people who only build me up, never bring me down, and that has made such a difference for me. Just feeling like I can be myself and not be judged, but also, not actually caring if I am being judged?? Because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. I've learned it is impossible to get along with everyone, and people will have something to say no matter what you do. So if you just work on being happy with who you are, that is honestly all that matters. Your energy will attract the right people who will only better your life.

I know some girls who dislike instagram because they feel themselves comparing themselves to everyone on it. I used to feel the same, but back to the flower quote, if you just worry about being your best self, it honestly doesn't matter. There's so much you don't see behind closed doors, all the beautiful girls on instagram may seem like they have it all, but more times than not, they will struggle with self esteem and self -acceptance just like the rest of us. I am loving the transparency we're beginning to get from some influencers. I've seen posts from the likes of Emma Hill and Rianne Meijer post photo series consisting of outtakes. They are starting to bring us back to reality, and letting us know that it's okay not to be perfect all the time, which is so so important.

I personally love instagram because it allows me to have my own creative space. Since it's such an open platform and you're putting things out there for everyone to see, it can be really quite daunting. I used to analyse my photos 100 times before putting them up, is this too weird? will people be annoyed with me posting too often? etc etc. But once you realise that actually IT DOESN'T MATTER, you will be so much happier. I put up pictures I love and things I create because I'm proud of it, not to impress other people, and if people don't like what I post or think I post too often, or anything like that, there's nothing stopping them from unfollowing me! It's as simple as that. Thinking in this way has made me so much happier and made using instagram such an enjoyable fun experience for me, and I'm so glad that I've been able to get to this point! Not to say I never have doubts or get self conscious, because trust me, I do, but I'm now able to talk myself out of it, and see things in a different light, which is super beneficial!

The reason I'm talking about confidence in this post is because the white peony is a symbol of bashfulness and shyness. I think it's kind of ironic that something so beautiful is considered a symbol of 'bashfulness' which is basically 'a reluctance to draw attention to oneself'. Something I used to feel a lot. I don't want to draw attention to myself, I don't want to stand out, I don't want to be different. I'm still not one to ever want to be the centre of attention, in fact, I can't think of anything I would like more than not to be the centre of attention. But this fear of people noticing me or looking at me, really made me push back my creativity. I love clothes, I love styling, and this fear of standing out or looking weird would sometimes make me wear things that everyone else was wearing. Because it was easier just to blend in. I've become much more confident in wearing things that I love, and not caring, it's such a good feeling! The best way to face any fears is to just force yourself to do whatever you're afraid of. That's the hardest part. Once you're through that, you realise that it's actually not as scary as you thought! I am super happy with my personal style now, and I try really hard not to let thoughts like 'I don't have the body for that', 'that outfit might be a bit much just for uni' etc. stop me from wearing the things I want to wear.

Okay so I don't really know where I was going with this post, but I hope you've enjoyed this rambling and can agree with me on some of these things. Ultimately just be yourself, because it's the best and only way to feel happy and comfortable in who you are, and to not let other people's opinions govern your life.

Until next time, Sim x

details: top - posse / jeans - vintage levi's / sunnies - melbourne vintage